Meet Up
The Date Before the Date
It had been 8 months since his 7 year relationship had ended and he decided to enter the dating scene. At this point in his life most of his friends were family men so he really didn't have anyone to go out with. He decided to try his luck online.
The first task was to create a profile. He needed to pick username, nothing like . . .
Office Chemical Warfare
I entered briefly only but to wash my hands and suddenly my olfactory senses were brutally assaulted. I wanted to run straight away, but already had soap on my hands. I thought I was going to throw up. I was already aiming at the sink. I held my breath to the best of my ability and made a Krameresque exit. Someone saw my exit. I was . . .
Grocery Shopping
Zombies, Hunter-gatherers, or No Self-awareness?
Grocery shopping is perhaps one of my most vexing chores. I can't quite decide if grocery shopping is preparation for the zombie apocalypse or if I'm the only person in the store with any self-awareness. Most people at the grocery store already appear to be zombiefied.
Every time I visit the grocery store I start off with a . . .
The Fantasy and Toy Story
Greg had been fantasizing about different women a lot more. He would fantasize about a colleague, a woman at the grocery store, a woman in the car behind him in traffic, a woman at the gym. In his head one of these women could not resist his invitation to join him and his wife. The only hitch as if it were the only hitch was his wife . . .
Neighbors
Let's get along
As of the last few months I've been held hostage by a neighbor. She hasn't kidnapped me or anything like that. I just can't move around as freely in my building as I once did. She lives across the hall and frankly she terrifies me.
You wouldn't expect her to be as ornery as she is. She has these big brown eyes and . . .
Living With Your Ex
You just can't hit rewind
So you’re with someone for years. You sort of planned to get married, but then you didn't. Then you thought you would be the next Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, but then that didn't happen. Somewhere in the 11 years of togetherness one of us got a case of the seven year itch and the other a case of midlife crisis. It really doesn't . . .